Of course M knows and has a plan for our direction and where we’re going. I was wrong to ask when I would get the paddle – it’s not for me to know.
I was a total brat last night. It was our last vacay night together and I know I’m going to miss him.
He was teasing me by ignoring that I wasn’t wearing any panties underneath my cut off jean shorts – he would run his hands up to the top of my thighs, and then move his fingers away from my hot pussy, or just briefly stroke my ass. It was driving me crazy. He waited until I slipped my bra out from under my tank top before he frowned and told me what a slut I am. He wanted to show me what a slut I am by jamming his fingers into me, and pulling me towards him in some slightly painful way. I tried to squirm away but he’s at least 6’1 and maybe 250lb so, totally too big and strong for me (although I do try), and pinching my sensitive nipples allowed him to direct me to where he wanted me to be.
As it turns out, running upstairs wasn’t a great choice – he made me walk up the stairs with his fingers wedged into my pussy, controlling my pace. Sigh – he was keeping his hands in my shorts now.
I was most bratty by the time we got upstairs. I wasn’t letting him putting his fingers in me, or pinch my nipples… but no matter how much I scrambled away from him, he still managed to lock me down for a good spanking. Surprisingly, I didn’t realize that I was getting spanked for my bratty behaviour. It wasn’t until he told me in his deep gravelly voice that I don’t get to be the decider in the bedroom, that I *have* to do what he says, and then I finally understood.
Haha! But I still wanted to know how swiftly he’d correct me if I kept my own. Because really? He hasn’t punished me for what I did before – I get we’re not at paddle level, but still. I even laughed at him and stopped letting him kiss me. M gave me my answer. He pulled me over his lap and gave me an uncountable number of spankings. My ass was so hot and pink. He only needed to direct me with my nipples twice after that – I guess I’m a slow learner. M is very calm and dedicated to making sure I keep on his agenda, and even though it is at a quicker pace than I would choose, it’s feels good not being the decider.
He seemed to connect my brattiness with the outstanding paddle punishment. He patiently took the time to explain his plan. I thought he’d wait until I was ready for the paddle, but he said it would be *just* before I’m ready and he’d let this transgression be my introduction. <<shiver>>
Unexpectedly for me, M thinks that I am a perfect little package. He sees traits and qualities in me that fill my heart in a way I’ve never had. I wouldn’t have understood that being part of a D/s relationship could be more encompassing and accepting and fulfilling than a more traditional relationship.
The combination of him being super affectionate and telling me all the reasons he likes me and being with me, and then slipping into this other mindset… It satisfies me on so many levels. It felt really natural and whole to explore all sides that combine to create me, him, and us.