M and I have the *best* communication exchange I’ve ever had in any relationship: bar none. While I am the common denominator in all my relationships, I have to deduce that the previous poor communication has been the fault of the particular combination of my exes and I (if we’re looking to lay blame, and we probably aren’t). The alchemy between M and i only serves to further solidify my belief that M is magic for me.
There is no way for me to convey this to him, to the depth that I feel it, other than being the best sub I can be. I get stuck at this part of the equation, because he needs to be my Dom in order for him to experience my subbiness. And when he’s at work, or otherwise engaged, and I’m overcome with my feelings of wanting to do for him, I just have to sit quietly alone. I can’t convey to him how deeply I feel for him.
Because it’s not only the communication, of course, that makes him amazing and magical. It’s how open he is, and how honest he is, and direct and accepting and encouraging and thoughtful and, and, and. He is all the bits I’d ever hoped to find in a man, and more that I didn’t even realize was possible.
I would love to possess all the bits he’d ever hoped to find in a woman, and to be more than he ever realized he wanted – to have all the happiness and satisfaction that is possible from another person.
It’s kind of hard for me to believe that M isn’t magic for everyone – and selfishly thankful!
I finally understand the concept of just wanting someone to be happy, even if it is with someone else.