Is that true?
Up until now, we’ve played the way M wants – yet it is influenced by me. I’ve been happy and good with what we’re doing and I’m interested and excited by what M wants to do. We’ve had chats about different aspects of play (mostly around hard limits, but I’ve also shared some ideas that I have) but we don’t plan a ‘scene’ – he just surprises me.
There are new elements that I’d like to try – they scare me, but excite me too. Humiliation and mind fuckery… But I’m not too sure what this might look like for me. When I read about subs presenting for their Dom I find that exciting and embarrassing. But even as I write that, I can feel my insides melting a little and the tingle of sexual excitement. I like the idea of being told to stand in the corner, naked and in a vulnerable position, while he goes about his business (making tea, having a cigarette, watching tv) until he’s ready for me. Or me sitting naked and on the floor, passing him whatever he wants, and rubbing his legs and feet.
I also like the idea of being teased. Endlessly. All day.
Or being told not to wear anything under a dress, or him taking off my bra under my shirt and not letting me touch my own barely clothed breasts.
Or M telling me that I can’t wear a bra under a sheer blouse when we go out for a night.
Or M playing with me, and then just stopping. Oh, and then starting again.
Or if M brought me a collar or necklace or bracelet with a little lock so I’d always know I was his.
Or him making any demand of me, actually.
It would be fine if I brought this up to him, I’m sure it would be. I suppose a challenge is that we don’t frequently have long periods of time to be together, so we rotate what we do together – from just being together to having sex – we have to be choosy about how we spend our time. But I’m pretty sure we can incorporate mind fuckery and humiliation to when we go out… even if it means that there is no release for me at the end of the night. I think that adds to the whole experience.
For me, being his sub is related to love and care. Because I know this is something we share. Oh, and it’s totally sexy being able to see the edgy things that he thinks up.
There isn’t (nor has there ever been) anyone else who fills me up like he does, and I’m so happy to continue to explore how D/s works for us.