So, in my efforts to push my limits, I had a fairly raunchy exchange with a man at work. I was trying to escalate and maybe embarrass him, and maybe be sexy. He was saying things back about fellatio and going down on a woman, and how satisfied other woman were in his past – totally mutual.
It totally backfired and he broadcast what I said to another co-worker. He conveniently left out all the things he’d said and made it sound like I was a coming on to him and that it was all me. I was crimson.
I’m not sure I’ve ever been so fucking embarrassed. I managed to speak casually and make non-sexual jokes to the co-worker later on in the day, but I could barely look at the man who threw me under the bus. And I haven’t said anything to either of them about the vulgarity and him sharing the details.
I used to find him mildly attractive but now he’s just icky. Ok – still attractive, but I don’t trust him. And that sort of makes him icky.
Part of this learning, I suppose, is that I’m going to make mistakes and do things and say things that I wish I hadn’t. I’m going to chalk this experience up to that board. It’s also helpful for me to realize that some people may not wish to keep things quiet (for whatever reason) and that maybe I should either be more choosy with whom I engage – or ngaf if they broadcast my business.
At least it wasn’t naked photos posted online. Oh wait… maybe I want that…