Embarrassing!!

So, in my efforts to push my limits, I had a fairly raunchy exchange with a man at work. I was trying to escalate and maybe embarrass him, and maybe be sexy. He was saying things back about fellatio and going down on a woman, and how satisfied other woman were in his past – totally mutual.

It totally backfired and he broadcast what I said to another co-worker. He conveniently left out all the things he’d said and made it sound like I was a coming on to him and that it was all me. I was crimson.
I’m not sure I’ve ever been so fucking embarrassed. I managed to speak casually and make non-sexual jokes to the co-worker later on in the day, but I could barely look at the man who threw me under the bus. And I haven’t said anything to either of them about the vulgarity and him sharing the details.

I used to find him mildly attractive but now he’s just icky. Ok – still attractive, but I don’t trust him. And that sort of makes him icky.

Part of this learning, I suppose, is that I’m going to make mistakes and do things and say things that I wish I hadn’t. I’m going to chalk this experience up to that board. It’s also helpful for me to realize that some people may not wish to keep things quiet (for whatever reason) and that maybe I should either be more choosy with whom I engage – or ngaf if they broadcast my business.

At least it wasn’t naked photos posted online. Oh wait… maybe I want that…

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8 thoughts on “Embarrassing!!

  1. What a douche, Dolci.. Find a person that is willing to keep quiet about conversations. It seems like you are trying to open up a bit, which is a total turn on , and a good thing !! And, puh-leeze- stop teasing about the nude photos…I am sure they are delicious as ever!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Dave. The sex-snap-scapade man kept it quiet – although he’d text sporadically saying rude things (I wasn’t down for more…) but it was at least manageable between just him-&-i. And yes – I think I’m looking for a man who is so confident and secure that he needn’t tell others about his exploits. *That* is sexy in a man ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s great that you are testing the waters and finding your balance in this but I would caution that some things just can’t be undone. Work might not be the best place to ‘find yourself’ when it comes to sexuality.

    Just a suggestion. 😀 For your own safety and long term peace.

    Liked by 3 people

    • You’re right – this is an uncomfortable learning curve. I don’t always listen to my gut in my perception of men. I seem to strangely hope that it will be different when the rubber meets the road. Lots of learnings from this one experience lol

      Liked by 2 people

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